I’ve realized that my true family does not actually Love me, but loves their own complacency as a replacement of that love. Even those who have accepted me and shown me love before have decided to be cold, heartless and ignore me when I communicate. I met a beautiful woman a while back, and she looked at me with Lust in her eyes even though her husband was in the other room, talking to Elli. Days later, that same woman caught me glancing at her open shirt and covered up- annoyed that I had looked, but it was SHE who gave me permission to look at her with lust, because that is what she did to me days before! I’ve learned that that woman is cold, lost and self-involved, too, just like my true family. The truth is: most people do not want to hear the truth. I am a mirror- which is why most people steer clear of me. Even the frog-lickers, the shaman visitors, the Crystal sellers,… they all, connected to the Great Spirit or not,… they ALL avoid me. The place I am in life now is that I’ve finally realized: after all these years (I’m 43;) of people acting uncomfortable around me, speaking to me in a nervous way, acting around me in a nervous way- they all tried to project their mental issues on me- treating me like I am the one who is strange and wrong, and that they are the ones who are normal and correct. … I have come to the place in my life where I recognize that it has NEVER been me and ALWAYS been they who are inadequate, strange and wrong! When my own family who thinks the fact that I am a traveler, that I never stay in one place- my own family treats that as irresponsible, strange, immature; and they think that I am lost. The reality of the matter is that it is they who are irresponsible, strange, immature and lost! My own family is irresponsible, because they blindly believe and do what the television and what the, “government,” tells them to believe and to do. My own family is strange, because they never hugged me when they greeted me, they are scared of true affection. (Maybe, because they lack love for themselves.). My own family is lost, because they have each other, but push me away and tell me I am not welcome in their home, or even in their town. They reach-out for the respect and acceptance of their neighbors and say, “we’ve built a life here…” but their neighbors don’t care about them and don’t know them; and they did not, “build a life;” they merely lived in a house and,… Lived- that is not, “building a life;” that is just staying in one place, never becoming more or doing more for their fellow man. They care only about the three people inside of their houses; and they have unwelcomed me from their houses. The irony is that- it is warriors such as myself who have allowed these weak people to live in such houses.
I ate at a restaurant today; and there was no knife on the table. I used my pocket knife. The owner of the place got all nervous and started acting scared and giving me the “side-eye”.
I’ve used my knife at restaurants many times before. I’ve gotten the same exact response from people. It’s not me; it is they… It is completely normal for a man to carry a knife. It is not normal for a man to NOT carry a knife. Real men carry a knife, and we use it at least twice a day. They – The nervous people who are scared of a pocket knife- are the stupid ones, not me! The thought never crosses my mind to stab somebody with my knife; however, when people see me using it to cut my food at a restaurant, those idiots think I’m gonna stab somebody… They are the stupid ones; and I am not strange. I am more normal than they even know how to be!
Of all of the people who have accepted me, but now, and forever-more, will treat me like I am not normal and that I make them nervous- it is not my doing- it is their own. They have a mental problem; and they are scared of me, because the mirror hides no wrinkles!
“Thank You For Letting Me Share.”
FYI: Evan is one of those people. Anybody who earns a living by only talking on the phone is a parasite. Those of us who pick up the axe and the shovel- we are the true spirit; whereas the bankers and Relators are the untrue darkness.
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