Journal Entry
Wednesday January 29, 2025
14:32 HRS
70°F sunny, windy
-Morning-
The True, “Me”
Bible Verse: MATTHEW 7:6
Everybody projects their best, “self,” out to the rest of the world. We attempt to mold people’s expectations of us according to the fabrications in our heads, (or fabrications of expectations which we deem to exist in other people’s heads about us).
This as a natural instinct in response to the ever-changing minds of the other humans around us. It is a social construct.
Most People are NOT Like Me.
I do not fit into that social construct. I have lost the expectations I had of myself when I was younger; and I have been disappointed, time and time again, when other people do not live-up to their word or change their expectations of me.
Therefore, I have lost, not only the expectations I used to harbor of other people, but I have also relinquished my interests in the former expectations which I had relegated myself to.
Call That A Mid-Life Crisis If You Want, But I Call It An After-Mid-Life-Crisis-Hump!
I have less expectations of myself and nearly zero expectation of other people. When a person has no expectations of himself or the people around him, that person does not respond to other people in the ways which everybody else typically projects their personalities out into the world.
This way is different from most peoples’, because most people view, “apathy,” simply as being, “un-caring,” or, “not emotionally affected by a situation”.
However, to a person who has experienced trauma repeatedly throughout their lives, their type of, “apathy,” is completely different from the average person’s apathy!
As for the last kid being pointed at and laughed at because he is the last one picked for kick-ball, traumatized people have felt and understand what is going through that kid’s head! Therefore, our apathy is not for the kid who’s picked last, but for the lack of love from those people who have picked the kid last!
I am much different from the finger pointers and those laughers- they who chose the poor kid to be last!
Ironically, for that ^, (their own actions,) I am shunned from their social construct!
Why Aren’t Most People Like Me?
When you do a job better than expectations or do something nice for (certain,) people, (these days,) most People expect you to expect some sort of overly-inflated return for that kindness.
Therefore, it is, now, normal to, “instinctively,” refrain from, “going that extra mile;” or, “lending an extra ear,” to a stranger in need!
For me, apathy has set-in. Survival instinct compels me to suppress my being aware of all of which I am aware of, (dictionary definition of, “cognitive dissonance”).
More and more, as people around me bury their heads in their phones or are so encumbered by all of their time and their spiritual energy being commandeered by their work, do not read the laws which are bing passed right now.
They are not reading the text of the papers which the House of Representatives and the Senate, then, the President are voting into law. …. Does this concern me? …. No. …
Apathy? No. … Cognitive Dissonance!
So, How Are Most People NOT Like Me If EVERYBODY Employs Cognitive Dissonance?
I Do read those papers and laws which the Senate, House and Commander In Chief are debating over.
I publish the shit which they are doing.
The President to me is number, zero; the Senate is number, one, but the House is always just busy doing the, “number, two!”
Who Is Congress Doing the, “Number Two,” All Over?
All over your grandchildren’s prepubescent, squishy, little heads, that’s who!
-Afternoon-
So, What is on the Roster for Today?
Stock Market:
I gotto check out PTLE
And DVN.
I need to figure out how much money I don’t have!
After speaking with Rebecca on the phone for about an hour today, tomorrow leads me to a brand new day; and I look forward to moving forward upon it!
-Evening-
-Ride Tight
Chip